Trying Too Hard

by Jason Iscariot

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03:58
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07:24
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05:59
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10.
04:03
11.

about

First album from Jason Iscariot, Case's solo original musical project, 10 songs assembled in a small storefront in a ruined building in downtown Kenosha.

credits

released 24 July 2012
J. P. "Case" Baas - Composing, Arrangement, Performance, Recording, Mixing, Mastering

Suzanne "Zanney" Sperber, Alex "Seraphinu" Young - Backup Vocals

Matt Durkee, Omar Flores, Daniel Robleski, Stephenie Sax, Robin Stevens, Thomas Stevens, Daniel Whiteside - Crowd Vocals

Chris Machuca, Stewart Hutson - Additional Voice Roles

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: SharkToy
I'd love if you could share with me some insight
on how the fuck you can manage to sleep at night.
I bet you hide under your covers from guilt and fright.
You know I'm on the hunt now.
Don't you turn the lights out.

Ad hominem is on lockdown.
Not for a second does that mean I've given up my crown.
It’s not over until we're, both of us, beneath the ground.
And don’t even expect me
to ever say I’m sorry.

Who starts it
Who ends it
Who fucking cares?


It's been so hard just to cover my mouth,
but you don't know what you're talking about.
This debate strains every talk,
Day after Day, Right after Wrong.

It’s been so hard holding everything in
And told-you-so's are just a sign I've worn thin
Take a chance, and I'll hear.
"Dear god, you were right all along."

Right all along.

What's taking you so long.


I've always thought that the world fucking hates me.
Need an anchor to tether me to sanity.
Chains scraping against the ground angrily.
My tolerance is captive.
Too late for retroactive thoughts.

Outburst unrehearsed.
You'll get the sharp end of the stick when it's at it's worst.
Drive myself into the ground because you come first.
Expectations are a nightmare.
Guess what else is unfair.


Who starts it?
Who ends it?
Who brings it up day after day?
Who loves it?
who hates it?
Who cares?


It's been so hard just to cover my mouth,
but you don't know what you're talking about.
This debate strains every talk,
Day after Day, Right after Wrong.

It’s been so hard holding everything in
And told-you-so's are just a sign I've worn thin
because eventually, I'll hear.
"Dear god, you were right all along."

Right all along.

What's taking you so long.


At wit's end without a doubt.
My patience is running out.
Arguing in circles,
and nothing gained.

You call yourself a die hard.
Let me call you a try hard.
So we don't think the same.
Your clawing at my brain,
and driving me insane.



It's been so hard just to cover my mouth,
but you don't know what you're talking about.
This debate strains every talk,
Day after Day, Right after Wrong.

It’s been so hard holding everything in
And told-you-so's are just a sign I've worn thin
take a chance, and you’ll see
Dear god, I was right all along.

Right all along.

I was fucking right all along.

So what's taking you so long.

Sharktoy
Track Name: TryingTooHard
Well it’s hard for kids like us to grow up.
Our Nostalgia comforts us,
the world’s so dangerous out there.

You’ve tried your best to care.

Before the pressure takes hold of us
the world’s puppeteering us.

I’m right here
And though you haven’t said a word,
I can hear your problems loud and clear.

So can you see straight?
Maybe I need more silver paint...


So Be It,
Cold blooded freak,
or a hot headed creep
Scream it loud.

I’ll regret what I say,
bring it up anyway.
Don’t mind me,
I’m just thinking out loud.

Though our sight’s on the stars
we won’t get very far.
Am I trying too hard?

So tell me is this enough?
Tell me if it’s too much.
Am I trying too hard?



Well we all know when push comes to shove.
Feeling insignificant
to life’s indifference to all.

I’ll help you break your fall.

From the mindless attention-getters,
you could do so much better.


I’m right here.
And though you haven’t said a word,
I can hear that I’m nothing but you’re mirror.

So can you see straight?
Or do I need more silver paint?


So Be It,
Cold blooded freak,
or a hot headed creep
Scream it loud.

I would change everything
would that change anything?
Don’t mind me,
I’m just thinking out loud.

Though our sight’s on the stars
we won’t get very far.
Am I trying too hard?

So tell me is this enough?
Tell me if it’s too much.
Am I trying too hard?


all your antics come off as bizzare
you know it’s possible to push it too far.
you never knew that acts could be too loud.
What does it mean to be picked out in a crowd?

We’re the fools.
We lose our cool.
And fall away,
From all the blame.

So shut your mouth.

It’s easier to cut the act.


So Be It,
Cold blooded freak,
or a hot headed creep
Scream it loud.

I would change everything
would that change anything?
Don’t mind me,
I’m just thinking out loud.

Though our sight’s on the stars
we won’t get very far.
Am I trying too hard?

So tell me is this enough?
Tell me if it’s too much.
Am I trying too hard?

I’ll regret what I say,
bring it up anyway.
Am I trying too hard?

You’re a cold blooded freak,
or a hot headed creep,
Am I trying too Hard?


you’re a cold blooded freak,
I’m a hot headed creep,
tell me is this too much?

I’d change everything
would that change anything?
I’ll regret what I say.

Being stuck in the dark
aint a walk in the park.
I just want some remark
am I trying too hard?
Track Name: Something To Cry About
Come closer,
I’m here to deny you.
Showing off your sorrow
only leads me to despise you.

Pay no attention
to the banging at the doors.
You’ve lost everything we gave you.
Why should we trust you with more?

Come all this way
just to get knocked down.
Live through a thousand deaths
you won’t work your way around.

Kept you alone.
Ignored your shouts.
We won’t give you
something else to cry about.


So don’t say it’s the end of the world
when tears stream from your eyes.
Every rung on your ladder’s broken.
And I can’t say that I’m surprised.

And I won’t forget your sorrow.
I won’t forget how it came to be.
This is the path that you have chosen.
And I won’t treat you like royalty.


You’re dark in bright light,
you’re not that subtle.
At every little obstacle,
you hit the floor and scuttle away.

What’s tomorrow
if you’re gone today?
You wouldn’t be around
to hear a single word we say.

Live life low,
forget all your mistakes.
Won’t learn a thing no matter
how many times it takes.

Always surrounded,
they’ve singled you out.
Just to give you
something else to cry about.


So don’t say it’s the end of the world
when tears stream from your eyes.
Every rung on your ladder’s broken.
And I can’t say that I’m surprised.

And I won’t forget your sorrow.
I won’t forget how it came to be.
You know damn well how you got here.
And I won’t treat you like royalty.


So don’t say it’s the end of the world
when tears stream from your eyes.
Every rung on your ladder’s broken.
And I can’t say that I’m surprised.

And I won’t forget your sorrow.
I won’t forget you’re the one at fault.
You know damn well how you got here.
It’s just something to cry about.

So don’t say it’s the end of the world
when tears stream from your eyes.
Every rung on your ladder’s broken.
And I can’t say that I’m surprised.

And I won’t forget your sorrow.
I won’t forget you’re the one at fault.
I can’t help what fate we have now.
It’s just something to cry about.
Track Name: 724
My vision feels so jaded,
and my thoughts just might as well.
When all our cheer is faded,
we're left with living hell.

Meet me.
First day of therapy.
Do I tell you what I want?
Or only what you need?
You can't pretend,
But you know I'm not your friend.
Don't ask me how it's been,
can we reschedule this again?


Any promises to me are broken instantly
how can I tell what's true
when your demons still show through.

And I assure you, as deep as memories go.
Just when you thought you're on a roll.

When letting go's the last thing you can do.
You've left a scar, but you'll pull it open soon.
It all went by so quickly, I just meet you at a glance.
Just get this through your head;
No second chance.

eyes sore
It's just now dark, so tell me more
I'd stay up all night, just to get the answer I'm looking for.

I can't say,
but there's something in the way
No matter what holds me back, I know I'll have my hand at fate.

Any hope that I could dream
Spasms incessantly.
And I can't throw it away
It always changes day to day.

But I assure you, the way things are is so.
When all of us reach our all time low.
Yet on we go.

The tables have turned
is there any number of words
that can turn things back the way they were.
If you need a name to blame
my name's in shame, I'll take the pain.
But don't be afraid.

It might sound like I'm reading lines
but I've seen the signs
And I know all the connections
My life is deception
But If I cling to the only plus I know
I'd be safe from the darkness that still grows.
Yet off it strolls.

I've jeopardized myself
I've made a mess of things.
Why expect so much for me
When I turned it down for them.
And in the dark,
theres a single light that glows
Keeps throwing me back, and know I know.

When all I fear is your fear of fear itself
Stuck in my mind, above all else
It all went by too quickly, and accepting will not do.
To me there's nothing more
All I'm asking for.

Seeing it first hand is hard to tell.
I keep equating everything to hell.
Inflexible for some
But submissive for the rest.
I'll never truly know what's for the best.

I may hold a double standard, but behind it there's a source
In being who I am, there's no remorse.

It's what I've found.
It's harder now.
I can't hold on.
When all is wrong.

It's what I've found.
It's harder now.
Try moving on.
The past is gone.
Track Name: The Astrocartographer
Hello lucky, there you are.
Good thing I know the story so far.
I'm back again to watch you fall.
You were my favorite after all.

Adventurous, but just in spite
conquer your morals with no foresight.
Your will and rage flare like the sun.
Who would say you're too young?


And I hope that the fire in your eyes
burns through your heart as well.
I've watched a thousand times,
and it all ends up the same, it's hell
and I've

laid out the stars for you
to follow across the endless night.
If you fly low, you'll never find the sky.

I'm waiting to see you fly.

Hello, Lucky, there you are.
Your heroism is very sub-par.
You're not one to take things carefully.
You'll fuck up everything,
Just like me.

You've made it so far,
did you have fun?
Stupid enough,
and now you're quest's done.

I can't see,
can't hear,
or feel anything but pain.
You took for granted
the contents of your veins.

And I hope that the fire in your eyes
burns through your heart as well.
I've watched a thousand times,
and it all ends up the same, it's hell
and I've

laid out the stars for you
to follow across the endless night.
If you fly low, you'll never find the sky.

I'm waiting to see you fly.

And I hope that the fire in your eyes
burns through your heart as well.
I've watched a thousand times,
and it all ends up the same, it's hell
and I've

laid out the stars for you
to follow across the endless night.
If you fly low, you'll never find the sky.

I'm waiting to see you fly.
Track Name: Causes/Effects
The days drift by carelessly.
You try to catch them recklessly.
You’re a zombie,
and you can’t even fend for yourself,
and there’s no one else
who understands.

But the sun comes up just ahead.
Just when you thought that you’d
be better off dead.
And what does hope mean again?
We all need to know.
We all need to know.

Do I plan for a goal?
Or do I brace for an impact?
Everything you thought you could take back.
We all wish that it didn’t work like that.

What to disect?
So close to being perfect.
But so far away...
So far away...
So tally off another day.

Watch the scenery.
Catch whatever glimpse
that you can manage to see.
Soon you’ll be forced
to face forward so blind and unclear
crash into your fears as they approach.

But the fog clears up just ahead,
and for a second
you let go of the dread.
Then all you see is black and blood red.
You’re screaming, “What do I know?”

Do I plan for a goal?
Or do I brace for an impact?
Everything you thought you could take back.
We all wish that it didn’t work like that.

What to disect?
So close to being perfect.
But so far away...
So far away...
So tally off another day.


So terrified
I’m losing my mind
I’m dying day by day
from what’s not so far away
and you say so far’s enough.
Well this life fucking sucks.

I’ve hit the ground?
I can’t get out!
So will you slow down?

Do I plan for a goal?
Or do I brace for an impact?
Everything you thought you could take back.
We all wish that it didn’t work like that.

What to disect?
So close to being perfect.
But so far away...
So far away...
So tally off another day.


----

Blood runs thick,
since you’ve boiled off all your hate.
and every time you walk,
it feels like you’re lugging dead weight.

Because every step you take
feels like another waste
on another day gone by.
You can’t bring yourself to try,
you’ve cried enough.


And this unlit room is dark,
but just a tad.
And after all,
The mood it sets ain’t bad.

And you start to think
this kind of thing
will last until you die.
and time just doesn’t fly.
it gets tough.

Posture’s slumped,
your joints hurt,
and you ache.
You can’t feel your pulse,
or even tell if you’re awake.

So close your blinds
and stay inside
because you know that you’re scared.

C’est la vie.
And who cares?
Life is life,
And what’s fair is fair.


In your prose,
you overuse the word “dread”,
so you look for something else
to write instead.

There’s so much to do,
but fuck if you
could motivate yourself
to just start something else
to kill your time.


And the room fills up with
piles of empty cans.
And you’re so cold,
you’re afraid to touch your hands.

And you will confess,
this pit’s a mess,
but you’ll sit in your gloom,
this place feels like a tomb
and that’s just fine.


Posture’s slumped,
your joints hurt,
and you ache.
You can’t feel your pulse,
or even tell if you’re awake.

So close your blinds
and stay inside
because you know that you’re scared.

C’est la vie.
And who cares?
Life is life,
And what’s fair is fair.


And why would you pretend?
Is there anything
that you’re able to mend?

Your ability to care
is discarded on the floor.
So face the pain head on
or just ignore...


You forgot
how to even feel irate.
And when you hear good news,
you still can’t relate.

You’ve been played,
and who’s to blame
when it’s probably your fault?

Those thoughts are in a vault
and locked away.

And on this matter,
what is left to say?


Posture’s slumped,
your joints hurt,
and you ache.
You can’t feel your pulse,
or even tell if you’re awake.

So close your blinds
and stay inside
because you know that you’re scared.

C’est la vie.
And who cares?
Life is life,
And what’s fair is...
fair.
Track Name: TurnAround
I’m not usually the one who speaks out.
After years of being told to back down
and watch as all that makes us human falls apart.
Just look at me now.

The smooth passing by of every week.
All those years of never knowing when to speak.
I’ve trapped myself and now I have to set me free.
And I know how.


And after my alienation,
broke through illusions, saw your grip, stone cold.
And despite your exaggerations,
what do you want to know?


It’s easier to say the words
Than to ensure the message gets through.
You’ll never have to pay an effort,
when responsibilities due.

It’s harder now to fight for nothing
than to let it rest and back down.
In spite of you, I tried my hardest.
And now I think it’s time we turn around.


I’m not usually the type for dice or cards,
you’ve played your ace of spades, I’ll keep my 8 of hearts.
you’re rolling snake eyes from your precious loaded dice.
such a backfire.

Lesson materials including life and death.
I’ve missed your principles of teaching no respect.
Sometimes I’ve wondered if you’re truly hypnotized.
I’m sick and tired...


And after my alienation
broke through illusions, saw your sick, dead soul.
and aside from affiliations,
what’s left to know?


It’s easier to say the words
Than to ensure the message gets through.
You’ll never have to pay any effort,
when responsibilities due.

It’s harder now to fight for nothing
than to let it rest and back down.
In spite of you, I tried my hardest.
And now I think it’s time we turn around.

It’s what I’ve found,
it’s harder now,
why not back down,
when all is wrong?
It’s what I’ve found,
it’s harder now,
just turn around,
the past is gone.
Track Name: And So He Screams
He runs aimlessly,
hoping he might run into himself.
Escaping all his known self decency.

At first glance, he’s insane.
But if you thought, you’d strain.
How could one be this broken so easily?

A small stone trips him to his knees.
On all fours, gripping memories.
He knows who he’ll be
He has know use for these.
And...


A dam breaks in his eyes.
He’s wasted all this time.
And lets go of his dreams,
as he screams.


He never got his name,
he’s always lived in shame,
and sadly accepted inferiority.

Surrounded by the soil,
draining the last of his turmoil,
running until he knows
he’s free.


No one
the pain he felt;
all of the torment
he’s been dealt.

And not a single hand
reached out
to help him.


A dam breaks in his eyes.
He’s wasted all this time.
And lets go of his dreams,
as he screams.

Last time to remember pain
as red “tears” streak from his veins.
His sight fades as it gleams,
as he screams.

As he screams.
Track Name: The Nursery
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water

before they tumbled down
and broke their hearts

one person heard the sound
and spread the word around,
it won’t be long until their story’s torn apart.


He said that she said
“Don’t trust what He said
that she said
you told me not to tell”

So if you say so
Just what do I know now?

Just Jack and Jill
On the Hill
By themselves.


Mary had a little lamb
who’s leash was white as snow
followed her everywhere
even where he didn’t want to go.

Ring around the rosie
this ring’s no longer cosy
Lies spread like the plague
Out of control.


He said that she said
“Don’t trust what He said
that she said
you told me not to tell”

So if you say so
what do I know

Jack and Jill
On the Hill
By themselves.

He said that she said
“Don’t trust what He said
that she said
you told me not to tell”

So if you say so
what do I know now?

Just Jack and Jill
On the Hill
By themselves.


Man, not this shit again
when will it end?
Why would you pretend that you hate all your friends?

And to what avail
do you go and tattle tale?
We’re Lakeview Tech but it feels like preschool.


(He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what he said”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what she said.”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what you said.”
He said that she said...)


He said that she said
“Don’t trust what He said
that she said
you told me not to tell”

So if you say so
what do I know

Jack and Jill
On the Hill
By themselves.

He said that she said
“Don’t trust what He said
that she said
you told me not to tell”

So if you say so
what do I know now?

Just Jack and Jill
On the Hill
By themselves.


He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what he said”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what she said.”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what you said.”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what I said.”

He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what she said”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what he said.”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what I said.”
He said that she said,
“Don’t trust what you said.”
Track Name: FeverDreamless
There's reasons for these bags under my eyes.
The effort I don't give except in lies.
Maybe it's the weight of all the promises that I can't keep.
But the universe will not let me sleep.


Lets talk about the time I waste.
All the things I say I'd do but only say.
And nothing was done today.
But I still feel,
I shouldn't be awake.

Exhausted from the same old grievance.
Another day, another moral inconvenience.
And who would bat an eye,
while the world around them dies?
And who could?
I can't seem to close mine.


I wish that we weren't forced to find out.
I wish we never knew what this was about.


There's reasons why we fall so far so fast.
There's reasons why the plusses never last.
And rest is the world's best advice.
But the universe would kill me if I tried.

There's reasons for these bags under my eyes.
The effort I don't give except in lies.
Maybe it's the weight of all the promises that I can't keep.
But the universe will not let me sleep.